HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine
and a few empty shotgun shells or high-powered rifle cartridges.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an
hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but
it was hard
to tell from all the blood.*
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.*
The rest of ya'll. Just get yourself a shotgun.
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