$963.75?!!!

The company I work for sends an electronic copy of your paystub on payday. I nearly had a stroke this morning when I opened it and the number was less than half my normal pay.

Gulp. Stomach flipflops. Heart jumps a beat. WHAT?!!! Thoughts race…

/inner dialogue
Did I mess up my vacation hours on timecard when I went out on vacation this month?
Did I get garnished for some mysterious reason (can’t think of any)?
Ay yi yi. Mama Mia.
Hey stupid go to the the HR page that lists all payments.
Oh. OK. There’s my normal check timestamped just a moment earlier.
What’s this amount then? Expense reimbursements come rolled into normal paycheck...
Read the fine print genius!
Patent Award bonus? $1500? Less withholding, $9... ahh so.
Wow. Didn’t know that useless arcane bit of tripe went through.
Cool.
Hey. B’day is tomorrow… Something for the kids. Maybe something in 9mm. heh, heh, heh…
Quick tactical decision…
/inner dialogue off

Hey Honey, whattya want for my birthday?