Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Haiku crimes against humor and humanity

So after a final gums/uvula related haiku exchanged with a colleague (all of which started as a result of a nice guy new engineering lead hire w/ astonishingly bad teeth and gums)...

Kamran and Burt sales.
Gumline and business recedes.
Sales gingivitis.

That's a hard joke to "get" without the context. Suffice to say Kamran and Burt were two ultimately inept fellows who'd commandeered the sales dept of a small company. They succeeded in running it out of business a couple years later -- along with about 75 good jobs. (aarrrgggh -- totally unnecessary).

Shortly after that "gum" haiku thread ended I got bent out of shape by a technical salesman trolling on a technical forum at work.

It's not a sales forum, it's an old school Usenet type tech forum with good old fashioned crunchy tech discussion. Trolling for sales is anathema. The forum involves a few of us around the country/world who've survived in our narrow little pathetic specialty that has otherwise moved to China.

Well, it's technical except for on Friday's when the geek gloves come off and the puns and NTC (non-technical content) gets really deep. That said, we're pretty jealous of our little corner and the spammer who contacted me directly at work via that forum was not appreciated.
I know, I know. Too much background, too much inside baseball.

ANYWAY... It developed (devolved?) into a conversation in haiku.
I was enjoying a moment of righteous indignation. That night I vented to my colleague (haiku partner in crimes against humor and humanity) about the fellow calling me at home and me messing with him thusly:

Call the busy tone.
Owner at home on the phone.
Wait in line on phone.

She (my colleague) responded in kind:

The phone Haiku sucks
Your true talent lies in gums
Yesterday was best

I explained to her:

What would Yoda say?
Gums easy are; phones not so?
I screen at dinner.

Simple things for simple minds. Sadly it doesn't take much to amuse me. Quite sad indeed. Sadly not up to this type of wit link